Monday, July 29, 2013

Stay Positive

I tend to lean towards sarcasm in general and the simplest thing will annoy me at the drop of a hat, but I've been trying over the last year or so to see more positive things in my everyday life. I guess it started after I went to group therapy and learned some really great ways to deal with  my depression (I have Dysthymia). I am doing so much better than I ever have since I've been having issues with depression (since early-mid teens or so) and lemme tell ya, it feels good. There are still some days where I can't even get the energy to make myself food and other days I feel like a totally normal human being. Those slivers of time that I feel good/productive/normal I think "ooooh, so this is what this feels like". It's such a foreign concept to me that I deserve to me happy. But you know what, I do, and that's a good thing. 

I'm always on and off struggling with thinking my art is crap and meaningless and is pointless and I need to give up. When I told my friend Chris this recently he said, "Well, I guess the point is that you're good at it and getting people to see your work isn't easy. But if it was easy, it wouldn't be worth it". Simple facts like this are easy to understand on the surface, but hard to remember when I'm sitting in my studio wishing I could make and create and actually do what I love for a living. So I'm just going to kick it up a notch if I really want to do what I love instead of lamenting the bad. I've been sending out emails to places I want to show instead of being afraid my work isn't good enough and not even trying. 

Half my time at my day job is spent thinking about art, things I want to make, mediums I want to experiment with, etc. It's almost painful some days to be there doing something I ended up being good at, but don't love or want to do forever. And I'm scared I will end up at some 9-5 day job regretting not following my gut. I don't know if it's because I just turned 30, but I feel like I need to make some big life decisions soon and get to where I want to be.

Sunday, July 28, 2013


I started this as a background but then I liked how it ended up with the stripes by themselves. I've found myself wanting to work more abstractly recently and I like this piece with just the color and line variances on their own. I'm going to stretch this and see how it looks then and decide if I want to paint it further or not.

Thursday, July 25, 2013

New Work on Paper

I got a great book from the 1950's from a friend for my birthday about teenagers and it's sooooo great. Amazing images and text about developing your personality, making friends, going to church, playing sports, etc; courtesy of some good ol' fashion ways of thinking. 

I was playing around with backgrounds and technique and ended up with this great gritty and almost wood patterned look.

Monday, July 22, 2013


This weekend I celebrated the big 3-0 at my apartment with a great group of friends and WAY too many shots. Above is a picture of the photobooth area I had up for the party, I can't wait to see the pictures once they're edited! I got paper pom poms and lanterns online and hung them from the ceiling in the hall by my dining room area. I felt pretty lazy about buying something online that I could have made myself (the pom poms), but with vacation earlier this month and then having company I was exhausted and wanted to make the party planning easy and stress free. 

All in all I'm doing much better with the whole "holy crap I'm 30, what am I doing with my life" thing. I have a good amount of friends who are older than me and told me in all sincerity and not to just make me feel better that your 30's are an awesome time and that helped me a lot to hear. My life isn't perfect but overall I'm happy with things, and while I have a lot to change/work on I have come a long way and look forward to what my 30's bring. 

Saturday, July 13, 2013

I'm Back!

Vacation was a blast! It's always so nice to get out of the city and out to where I can see the stars. We stayed a few days at my Dad's house out in the burbs and then spent Friday and Saturday night at the Palms hotel just off the strip. We partied pretty hard and I can't quite get over a hangover like I used to. 

Each row from left to right:
1. The Bellagio always has beautiful seasonal displays.
2. We saw the Andy Warhol exhibit at the Bellagio fine art gallery. We couldn't take pictures but it was an amazing collection; I didn't know he did pieces with diamond dust. I got some Warhol stationary for writing my pen pals. 
3. Bingo at Station Casino! So fun!
4. We saw Claire Sinclair's show Pinup at the Stratosphere
5. Great views for watching the 4th of July fireworks at the top of the Stratosphere
6. The view from our room at the Palms.
7. We stopped by the Vegas sign at 12:30am after doing some ass juice shots the at Double Down
8. Pretty tree and flower display at the Wynn
9. Koons Tulip sculpture at the Wynn. 

Wednesday, July 3, 2013


Hey all! I'm leaving after work tonight for Vegas!!! Hanging out with some family, celebrating a friend's 21st birthday and my early 30th bday. Since finishing my last batch of paintings I've been taking a little break from art making and I also have a friend in town once I get back from point is I'll be taking a little break from the blog.  

I hope everyone is having a great summer so far!